Five Newspaper Headlines that Shared the Front Page with Barack Obama on November 5, 2008
By adam | November 9, 2008
While it may seem like the newspaper staffs of America were expending all of their energy early last Wednesday morning on creating original, creative headlines about the general election (I’m sure we’ve all only one seen one “A Change Has Come” show up above the fold in that day’s editions), it must be remembered that there were a host of other things on the front of our minds in those historic moments. The following 11/5 headlines, which appeared on the first page as either articles or jumps, should remind us that Mr. Obama is only one wave in the tide of history:
1. The Decatur Daily (Decatur, Alabama):
Obama Headline: “Obama’s Nation”
Just as Important Headline: “Study finds women have greater variety of bacteria on hands than men do.”
2. The Montgomery Advertiser (Montgomery, Alabama):
Obama Headline: “Defining Moment”
Just as Important Headline: “Slow Cooking: Stew tastes great when it turns cold”
3. The Journal News (Westchester, New York):
Obama Headline: “It’s Obama”
Just as Important Headline: “Chocolatier Designs Warrior Princess”
4. The Daily Progress (Charlottesville, Virginia):
Obama Headline: “Obama Makes Hstory”
Just as Important Headline: “Dancer takes steps to celebrate Lincoln’s birth”
5. The Telegraph (Nashua, New Hampshire):
Obama Headline: “Change Has Come”
Just as Important Headline: “Cut the stress from party planning”
Topics: Arts & Entertainment, Politics & History | No Comments »
Three Things I Felt While Watching Barack Obama’s Acceptance Speech
By Ted | November 5, 2008
Today is the first time I’ve ever been proud to be under the age of thirty. We, the children of the children of the Cold War, put the effort in to the process over the last nine months and helped guide the nation towards the change it required. The list of people I know personally that I’d like to thank is long (and includes Josh Fox, Daria, and Isaac, to name a few) but the list of people we need to thank is longer - the tireless workers who put in long hours in support of that which they knew we needed.
It is for them that I humbly make the following list of things I felt while I watched Barack Obama’s acceptance speech:
1. Elation, at the sight of a President Elect who promises to be unlike any in recent history
2. Renewal, at the sight of a President Elect who promises to do everything he can to make sure that the America we, our children and our children’s children live in is everything the Founding Fathers intended it to be, and more, and
3. Hope that we, in fact, can, and then some.
Thanks, folks.
Topics: Politics & History, Uncategorized | 1 Comment »
Countries that don’t use the metric system
By Catherine | October 28, 2008
On May 20, 1875, an international treaty known as the Convention du Mètre (Metre Convention) was signed by 17 states, marking the first steps towards standardizing an international system of measurement. One hundred years later, nearly all the nations of the world officially adopted the Metric System. The following three countries, however, decided not to adopt a system of measurement which conveniently deals in base 10 arithmetic.
- Liberia
- Myanmar
- The United States
Here’s a map to further illustrate the disconnect:
Topics: Politics & History | No Comments »
Ten All-Time Most Offensive Professional Wrestling Characters
By adam | October 27, 2008
- 10. The Iron Sheik
Years in WWF: 1979-1988; 1991-1992
Basic Premise: An anti-American Iranian foil to the patriotic Hulk Hogan who would still gain just as many jeers today.
Catchphrase: “Iran, number one! USA, hack-ptooey!”
Finishing Maneuver: The Camel Clutch
Cultural Factoid: In the song “It Ain’t Hard to Tell” off 1994’s Illmatic, rapper Nas states, “I freak beats, slam it like Iron Sheik.” - 9. The Godfather
Years in WWF: 1998-2001
Basic Premise: A silly pimp dressed in silly clothes who was constantly flanked by his stable of hos.
Catchphrase: “Pimpin’ ain’t easy!”
Finishing Maneuver: The Pimp Drop
Cultural Factoid: Upon his retirement in 2002, The Godfather (Charles Wright) went on to manage Las Vegas’ Cheetahs strip club. - 8. George “The Animal” Steele
Years in WWF: 1967-1989
Basic Premise: An aging madman whose fondness for eating the turnbuckle and constant loss for words lied somewhere between senility and mental retardation.
Catchphrase: “Duh-dahh.”
Finishing Maneuver: Full Nelson
Cultural Factoid: Steele portrayed Swedish wrestler/actor Tor Johnson in Tim Burton’s Ed Wood - 7. Goldust
Years in WWF: 1995-1999
Basic Premise: A snaky, somewhat androgynous Hollywood heel whose sexual ambiguity was used as a source of creepiness and evil.
Catchphrase: “Remember the name…Goldust.”
Finishing Maneuver: The Curtain Call
Cultural Factoid: Dustin Runnels co-wrote a song for the soundtrack of the 2006 animated film Doogle. - 6. Kamala
Years in WWF: 1986-1988; 1992-1993
Basic Premise: An African voodoo practitioner whose tribal makeup and bone necklace led many a foe into The Heart of Darkness.
Catchphrase: Indecipherable groaning
Finishing Maneuver: Air Africa
Cultural Factoid: James Harris has been writing and performing music since 1993; much of it focuses on the frustrations of a professional wrestling career. - 5. Tatanka
Years in WWF: 1991-1995; 2005-2007
Basic Premise: A Native American mark who rain danced his way to a two-year undefeated streak..
Catchphrase: “Hie-ya-ya-ya”
Finishing Maneuver End of the Trail:
Cultural Factoid: Before entering the WWF, Chris Chavis turned down a contract from the Miami Dolphins. - 4. Hot Rod Roddy “Rowdy” Piper
Years in WWF: 1984-1996
Basic Premise: A supposed Scot who, on separate occasions, presented Polynesian star Superfly Jimmy Snuka with tropical fruit and painted half his body black to face Bad News Brown.
Catchphrase: “Just when they think they all have the answers, I change the questions.”
Finishing Maneuver: Sleeper Hold
Cultural Factoid: Piper played the father of a spoiled teen in MTV’s 2007 straight-to-DVD Super Sweet 16: The Movie. - 3. The Junkyard Dog
Years in WWF: 1984-1988
Basic Premise: A muscular face whose steel chain around the neck and dog-like mannerisms revealed a certain streak of animalism.
Catchphrase: “Grab them cakes.”
Finishing Maneuver: The Thump
Cultural Factoid: The aforementioned catchphrase (which was never actually uttered in the ring) comes from JYD’s song off of 1985’s The Wrestling Album. - 2. Virgil
Years in WWF: 1986-1994
Basic Premise: The “bodyguard” of The Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase, Virgil eventually rebelled against his “employer” and attacked him with the Million Dollar Belt.
Catchphrase: Virgil didn’t talk a whole lot.
Finishing Maneuver: Million Dollar Dream
Cultural Factoid: Mike Jones (I’m Mike Jones!) is currently a math teacher in Pittsburgh. - 1. The Big Boss Man
Years in WWF: 1988-1993; 1998-2003
Basic Premise: A Southern prison guard whose taste for hard justice and Confederate flag patches were about as subtle as a nightstick to the face.
Catchphrase: “You’ll be serving nothing but hard times.”
Finishing Maneuver: Boss Man Slam
Cultural Factoid: Ray Traylor did, in fact, work as a prison guard in Cobb County, Georgia, before his time as a professional wrestler. - desegregated (L - 12 letters)
- stewardesses (L - 12 letters)
- exacerbated (L - 11 letters)
- reverberate (L - 11 letters)
- devastated (L - 10 letters)
- afterwards (L - 10 letters)
- decreased (L - 9 letters)
- carcasses (L - 9 letters)
- beverages (L - 9 letters)
- addressed (L - 9 letters)
- excavate (L - 8 letters)
- beverage (L - 8 letters)
- monopoly (R - 8 letters)
- lollipop/lollypop (R - 8 letters)
- Memphis, TN (672,277)
- Columbus, OH (730,657)
- Jacksonville, FL (782,623)
- Indianapolis, IN (784,118)
- San Jose, CA (912,332)
Topics: Food & Drink, Technology, Uncategorized | Comments Off
Longest Words you can type using only one hand at a time
By Catherine | October 16, 2008
Not too long ago while typing up a caption for work, I realized that I could type the entirety of the word “devastated” with just my left hand. So I got to thinking about what other words I could type using only one hand. Here’s my list of the longest one-handed typed words.
I defy you to come up with a word longer than 12 letters that can be typed with only one hand. Or any word longer than 8 letters that can be typed using just your right hand. Impossible!
Topics: General | 2 Comments »
PORKALIST - 5 Pork-Related Websites I Found This Morning
By Ted | October 16, 2008
Anyone whose known me for any length of time knows about my life-long love affair with the king of all beasts, the pig. It’s bacon is a life-giving nectar, a salty ambrosia, a crinkly-fat-infused flower whose honey is so potent that a perfect specimen can bring the author to tears (I’m looking at you, B.E.L.T. at Community Food and Juice. You have no business being so tasty. Get out of my head.) Their flesh gives rise to the Queen of All Breakfast Meats, the Sausage, and the Duke of the Dinner Table, the bratwurst. Their chops, closer in texture and taste to butter than to the meat of other, lesser animals, require, nay, demand that you cook them properly lest you be doomed to chew on tough, chewy meat - your own fault, friend, your own fault.
People who know me also know that one of my favorite things to do (no joke) is type random words into GoogleSuggest and see where it takes me.
Here’s what happened when I typed in “Pork,” followed by other letters, and what I learned as a result.
5 PORK RELATED WEBSITES I FOUND THIS MORNING
1. “Pork B…” - Google says…Pork Brine! According to Derrick Riches, of about.com, “brining” meat, or soaking the sucker in water for untold amounts of time before cooking, will make meat juicier because the proteins at the lowest level of the meats being will be so engorged with water that the meats own juices won’t be able to cook out. Apparently all you need is water, salt, and 1/2 cup of molasses for every gallon of water. Be sure to refer to about.com’s super-handy reference chart for brining times!
Edit: So last night my mom made meatloaf for dinner and we tried brining it first - we used light cream, heavy cream, whole milk and bacon grease. Thanks for the heads-up, Derrick, it was delicious!
2. “Pork C…” - Google says…pork casserole! This might be my new favorite website - anyone with the URL justporkrecipes.com is OK in my book. Some of the recipes sound disgusting by name, i.e. “Colorful Egg Casserole,” which conjures up images of attempts my mother made to hide healthy food in nasty colors, or “Sauerkraut Casserole,” which brings to mind images of fat old German men eating cooked cabbage by the tureen-full, but clicking through to the recipes confirms that any recipe involving the Other White Meat is, in fact, going to be delicious.
3. “Pork F…” - Google says…pork floss! This woman, a “Happy Homebaker” in “Singapore,” is one of the great undiscovered minds of the first decade of the 21st Century. Get this, people too lazy to click links: she combined fresh-baked bread with strands of pork running through the middle, and then she covered the whole thing in cheese. It’s too bad she’s already married because I’d be all over that like pork on a pig (or something…gotta give me credit for trying, folks.) The results look delicious. Look! Anyway, pork floss, for the less pork-aware, is delicious strands of stringy pig meat that bear a similarity to the American “Pulled Pork,” though are probably more delicious, because they are Chinese food.
4. “Pork E…” - Google says…Pork Eating Crusader! This was, believe it or not, Google’s first suggestion for “Pork E.” There are apparently untold legions of people who’d like to purchase a patch that they can wear on their camo jackets that let’s the world know exactly how inverse-to-Muslims their lifestyle is; namely, so much that they not only eat pork (which is not Halal) but they also wear Templar armor, which went out of vogue around year 1500 anno domini, and also like to kill infidels (which is, to be fair, still a popular past time in some parts of the world.) I hope to never, ever, meet one of these untold pork-loving, Ay-rahb hating types in person.
5. “Pork Q…” - Google says…Pork Quality Assurance! Also the first hit, though this time it makes sense. Pork, you see, carries the potential to deliver many threats to your existence (want to know if yours is infected? POUR COKE ON IT! Thanks, Coca-Cola Corp, for keeping us safe!) This website is set up for people who manufacture pork to have a place to rap about safety and standards. It’s very dull, but it does make me feel like my stomach is in good hands - according to this website they use computers, so there’s no need to worry. Pork rinds? Yes, please!
Topics: Food & Drink, Uncategorized | No Comments »
Nine Quasi-Serious Questions I Had While Watching the Third and Final Presidential Debate of 2008 (in order)
By adam | October 16, 2008
1. Did John McCain dye his eyebrows? (thx Cath)
2. Doesn’t a split screen enhance the Kennedy/Nixon effect?
3. Was McCain actually remembering the Great Depression?
4. How many “environmentalists” were surprised that they’re supposed to be against “clean coal”?
5. Does McCain think that Todd Palin could beat him up?
6. Does Obama generally have a sense of where his sentences will end?
7. How cool is the nickname “Senator Government”?
8. If partial-term is one of the “bad procedures,” which ones are the good ones?
9. Does Sarah Palin have an autistic child we don’t know about?! Release the records!
Topics: Politics & History, Uncategorized | 1 Comment »
Five American Cities with Larger Populations than the State of Alaska (670,053)
By adam | October 15, 2008
Topics: Politics & History, Travel | No Comments »
Top 7 Lyrics Invoking Other Songs by the Artist Singing Them
By adam | October 13, 2008
A little bit of self-reference is a very good thing. No doubt, the technique is one that can be (and usually is) an obvious attempt to build one’s own legacy by creating intricate, personal story worlds. That said, when done artfully, those story worlds can be some of the most interesting and engrossing. The following musical artists have managed, with the songs in question, to cement their places in history as masters of wordy self-absorption. And we have fallen into their worlds, just as they must have hoped.
1. “I told you about the walrus and me, man/You know that we’re as close as can be, man/Well, here’s another clue for you all/The walrus was Paul” (The Beatles- “Glass Onion”)
The Beatles, at some point, became entirely aware of their own mythology (not that there was no awareness in their creation of it) and decided to have some fun with it. On this cut off of The White Album, John also discusses a certain fruity field and a fool on a hill, thereby reinforcing the somewhat commonly held belief that Magical Mystery Tour was, despite the classics it produced, an inside joke of an album.
2.”This was your life, and when it fails to recoup, maybe/You just haven’t earned it yet, baby” (The Smiths- “Paint a Vulgar Picture”)
“Paint a Vulgar Picture” is arguably the pinnacle of record-industry loathing. Morrissey turns this now-cliched gripe on its head, though, by not only detailing the various ways record companies dangle their marionettes, but manages to display an almost equal amount of self-loathing for falling prey to The Man. By explaining the situation with another classic lyric, Moz shows that behind every narcissistic pose there is a deep well of regret.
3. “He asked what happened to Charlemagne/She just smiled all polite and said something vague” (The Hold Steady- “Don’t Let Me Explode”)
Here, Holly, the “she” that lies at the center of Separation Sunday, does exactly as was laid out in Almost Killed Me’s “Killer Parties”. She gives up no information about her travels with pimp/drug dealer Charlemagne, and instead gives a sly wink and nose rub that, in actuality, says it all. Another dense chapter in the body of modern-day folkloric characters Craig Finn spins like a drunken Dickens.
4. “Ashes to ashes, funk to funky/We all know Major Tom’s a junkie/Strung out in heaven’s high/Hitting an all-time low” (David Bowie- “Ashes to Ashes”)
This sad, sonically rich song from Scary Monsters (and Super Creeps) piggybacks on Bowie’s hit from eleven years earlier, “Space Oddity”. Here, Bowie reimagines his former intergalactic cowboy as a deadbeat, a turn of events that he described simply as being “about spacemen becoming junkies”. The lyrics also nod to his Low album, from three years earlier.
5. “And the sky still reigned supreme over the land/As the music lovers sat cross-legged in the sand” (Destroyer- “3000 Flowers”)
Picking the best Destroyer self-reference is like trying to choose from a lengthy, lengthy menu where every dish not only sounds delicious but the descriptions tell you to “see above entree”–it’s layer upon layer upon breathless layer. Here, Dan Bejar imagines his protagonists, once not able to be held in by the world, watching that same world collapse in on itself.
6. “Staying up for days in the Chelsea Hotel/Writing ‘Sad-Eyed Lady of the Lowlands’ for you” (Bob Dylan- “Sara”)
The second of two songs (the first of which is mentioned in the lyric) definitively written about Sara Lownds, Dylan’s wife from 1967-1975, “Sara” is known as the legend’s attempt to find reconciliation with the mother of his Wallflower son. From 1976’s Desire, the eponymous track is both heart-wrenching and optimistic, a meditation on all that went wrong but also on all the moments that must have seemed so right at the time. “Lowlands”, which Dylan penned a year before his marriage to Sara is an epic ode, and his rumination on that song is fittingly aware of just how large its central figure looms.
7. “Now she’s wearing a band of gold/Peggy Sue got married not long ago” (Buddy Holly- “Peggy Sue Got Married”)
Whereas “Peggy Sue” was a vague account of unrequited love for, like, the dreamiest girl EVER, this update gives a more detailed story of a man whose distant crush has just got up and, well, married, gosh darnit! And the worst part–Buddy had to hear about it from a friend. Geez, these girls really know how to break a guy’s heart!
Topics: Arts & Entertainment | No Comments »
Recessionalist - 10 Great Ways to Spend $2
By Ted | October 13, 2008
Oh Jim Cramer, if we only listened. If we only knew. You knew. You cannot be blamed - personally I blame the LI-talians across the street with the GIANT faux marble cupid-peeing statue on the front lawn of their GIANT house with GIANT Ionian columns that they had built (on top of an adorable old farmhouse) last year.
Anyway, with the economy doing that crazy thing it’s been doing recently my entertainment budget has shrunk dramatically, and I bet yours has, too. Without further ado here’s…
10 Great Ways to Spend $2
1. Several cans of cheap beer.
2. 1 bottle of not-so-cheap beer.
3. A piece of pizza, depending on where you’re getting pizza from.
4. The New York Times.
5. A cup of coffee at the local greasy spoon, plus unlimited table time.
6. Fruit!
7. 25-cent viewing booths, for several minutes.
8. Hiring Amazon’s Mechanical Turks to do things you don’t want to, like update your blog.
9. Eight(8) games of Ms. Pac-Man
10. Own War and Peace for 20 days more than you would if you returned it to the library on time.
Topics: Arts & Entertainment, Food & Drink, Technology | 1 Comment »
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